New Quotes

So I was going to wait until tomorrow to post these but, well, I couldn't wait to share some of them.

We went to Gainesville this weekend and went to the Gator game.  
Autumn:  Man, all those cheerleaders were in a sorority.  The guys were even in a farority.

Autumn:  If I go to school here all I will need to know is where is my dorm, my classes and the nearest Chick Fil A.

So were eating dinner last night and discussing AJ's upcoming cruise.  Autumn looked over and saw my plate was empty at the same time Jeff posed this question to AJ.
Jeff:  So where are you going on your cruise?
Autumn:  Hungry?
Alex:  Really Autumn?  Hungary?

It's not really that surprising since her geography skills are nonexistent.  Speaking of geography, I got an email from a friend the other night.  Her daughter also has geography issues.  So I was responding that our daughters shared this affliction I called ageographiosis, meaning without geography skills.
Autumn:  Yes I know, we lack geometry skills.
Alex:  You mean geography?
Autumn:  Whatever.
Alex:  Yeah I am much better at geography.
Autumn:  Oh yeah well then tell me where Tijuana Flats is?
Alex:  Really?
Autumn:  How about Tai Kwondo?  Where's that?

Autumn was a little snarky today so Jeff asked this question:
Jeff:  If I beat her is it child abuse?
Autumn:  YES...
Jeff:  What if I don't leave a mark?
Autumn:  It will leave a mark here (points to her heart)
She's a clever one....
Jeff's response:  So the question is am I willing to take that chance?

This was our exchange when she was finishing her paper tonight on the Constitution.
Autumn:  What should I write for this last paragraph?
Me:  Well you could say how innovative the document was.
Autumn:  What does innovative mean?
Me:  Look it up.
Autumn:  I don't want to.  Just tell me.  All I know is that it is a computer term.
Me:  (Giggling)
Autumn:  Fine.  (Grabs the computer)  Innovation... the act or process of being innovating.... ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!
Me:  (Laughing)
Autumn:  Can I just say that the Constitution is WAY less exciting than the Declaration of Independence?  The Declaration is like "BAM... IN YOUR FACE... WE'RE FREE... TAKE THAT!!!"  The Constitution is like, "Here are some laws.  Follow them."  It's so anti .... anticlimacticate... anticlim.... it's so downhill.

Quotes of the week

I'm having a hard time coming up with new post titles.  Hmm.


So here is a thought, you ever notice how no one comes over unannounced when the house is clean?  Today the realtor came over to take pictures so our house is uber clean (that's a word.  I made it up myself.)


So here are the quotes you've been missing.

Tricia was here helping me clean up this week.
Tricia:  Strip.  Wait... don't strip.  What do you want me to do with this power strip.

Me:  Autumn, can you get my phone out of my room?
Autumn comes back with my power cord for my laptop.
Me:  What are you doing?
Autumn:  (Trying to act innocent but can't keep a straight face.)  What?  You didn't want your power cord?
Me:  I wanted my phone.
Autumn:  Ok ok I got in there and thought... wait, what did she ask for?  So I just grabbed the computer cord.

Our kids have the computer that is hooked up to the printer.  So when you want to print wirelessly, that computer has to be on and awake.  Jeff has been using this computer's monitor to fix another computer.  So there is a keyboard on the desk and another one in the keyboard drawer.  That's the set up.
Jeff:  AJ did you mean to print two copies of this paper?
AJ:  Well it didn't print the first time so I tried again.  Then I realized that Autumn had turned off her computer cause I couldn't wake it up so I printed it to the other printer.
Autumn:  AJ I did not turn off the computer.
AJ:  Yes you did.  I couldn't wake it up.  I hit the spacebar and nothing happened.
Looks down and realizes there are two keyboards
AJ:  Wait... it that keyboard even hooked up?

Fun Days

Ok so there are several here.  Hold on to your hats and sunglasses!  This is gonna be a wild ride.

Don't know if you are familiar with this but it is said that men's brains are like boxes (or waffles) and women's brains are like wires (or spaghetti).  However, my husband has the ability to have several boxes out at once.  My sons, do not.  So Alex was a little behind in the conversation.
Jeff:  Come on man, try to keep up!
Alex:  I'm sorry Mr. Soggy Boxes.

Me:  Autumn, can you see that?
Jeff:  No she can't see!  She's driving!

Autumn:  I'm unalohaing myself.
Us:  WHAT?
Autumn:  I'm unalohaing myself.  Aloha means family.  Family means nobody gets left behind... or forgotten.
Me:  That's OHANA!

Me:  Ok so let's think of different ways to say "they wanted."  (meaning the writers of the Constitution).  Start with "They."
Megan:  The delegates, the writers, the men...
Autumn:  The dudes, the criminals, the gangsters....
Me:  Wow ok.  How about "wanted."
Megan:  Desired, aspired...
Autumn:  were diggin' it....
ARGH!!!

Me:  What is the First Amendment of the Constitution?
Megan:  Thou shalt not kill!
Autumn:  No it's NOT!!!!  It's there is only ONE God.

I also have some from my Monday coop...
I have one student who did not understand why he had to wear his safety goggles when we were only using corn starch and water.  A few minutes later he jumped back when his partner splashed it toward his face.
Student:  WHOA I get it now!  It's not because there will be an explosion!  It's because HE is my partner!  Ok!

Same Student to his partner:  Be careful.  You could hurt yourself with those.
Partner:  They are kiddie scissors!
Student:  HEY kitties are dangerous.  They have claws.

I am on sabbatical from Facebook so I might not have this totally correct but here is the gist of a conversation of two sisters who are in my chemistry class.
Sister 1 - I wonder why no one wanted to go up to the board in chem class?
Sister 2 - I don't know.  I would have gone up but I wasn't really wearing a board writing outfit today.

Have a blessed day!

Updates

I have some post it note quotes I better put in before they get lost.  

Autumn:  (During Home Ec)  These artichioves smell really bad!

Alex:  Mom, I need to interview you.
Me:  Ok ask away.
Alex:  Where were you when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon?
Me:  That was 1969.  I wasn't born yet.
Alex:  Oh.  I guess they want me to ask someone older.
Me:  I guess so.
Alex:  Ok, what about when JFK was assassinated?
Me:  Alex, that was before the moon landing.
Alex:  Oh.  What about 9/11.
Me:  I remember that.  I was driving in my car and I heard it on the radio.  I remember where I was when I heard it.  I had just dropped you kids off at school or daycare and I....
Alex:  I might need to ask someone else because usually people have a certain smell or sound that triggers their memory.
Me: Well I remember everything was blue.
Alex:  Were you in Smurfland?
Yeah that interview was over.  

Nolan:  It's really dark out here.
Me:  I thought you said you were nocturnal.
Nolan:  I can still be nocturnal.
(Oh sorry)

Came home this morning and Jeff was spraying down our driveway.
Me:  What are you doing?
Jeff:  It's the mass massacre of the ant colony 2011!!!
Later we came outside and they were back.
Me:  Looks like you have to pull out the big guns honey.
This afternoon we pulled into the driveway and Jeff pulled up then backed out, pulled up, then backed out.
Me:  Are you trying to kill the ants with the car?
Jeff:  YES I AM!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA.

Sometimes I have to quote myself.  Everyone else bears the brunt of my quotes so here is my quote of the day:
This morning I took Autumn to ref a soccer game. On the way there I went over a speed hump at full speed.
Me:  I didn't see that.
Later, Jeff and I went to pick her up.  On the way back as Jeff was driving over the hump...
Autumn:  There's that speed hump.
Me:  To Jeff   Yeah I missed that earlier.
Jeff:  You went over it full speed?
Me:  Yep.  I don't think there's a sign.
Jeff:  Yep there's a sign and there's also an arrow on the road.
Me:  Oh I didn't see the sign and the arrow just confirmed I was going the right way.
Jeff:  The only way it could have been more obvious honey is if there were flashing lights saying, "HEY DUMMY, THERE'S A SPEED HUMP RIGHT THERE!!!"
I'm taking him a different way next time.

Here is the story Autumn brought home from reffing.
Other ref:  So how are your parents?
Autumn:  What?
Other ref:  How are your parents?
Autumn:  Um... they ... are... fine?
Other ref:  So ... they aren't too mean today?
Autumn:  OHHHHH you mean the parents on the field!!!  I was confused.

There was the cutest little girl at basketball but her shorts were bugging her and she kept pulling at them.
Me:  She needs to throw those shorts out.
Autumn:  Not right now she doesn't.
Me:  Yeah that would be awkward.

Just now she laid down next to me and was laughing.  
Autumn:  I drank too much water.  Listen.
You could hear the water sloshing around in her stomach.  Which made her laugh harder.  Which made the water slosh more.  Which made her laugh harder.   See the problem yet?


There now we're all caught up.  God Bless!

These people make me happy

Autumn wrote this on the board while I was on the telephone.
"The next time I dust my fan, remind me to take a shower after and not before.  AND to turn the light off first."

Later my kids were in a fight so the ride to church was a little quiet.  So I told Jeff, well this is different.  He said, "I don't know if they are tired of it the car destroyed their mouths."
Me:  "WHAT?"
Jeff:  "Well I was going to say the cat got their tongue but that was more interesting."
So I still got a quote out of the car ride to church.

Tricia came by tonight and Nolan was in the back seat.
Nolan:  "MS. FRAN!!! I'm nocturnal!!!"
Me:  "You are?"
Nolan: "Because, because, um because I can see in the dark!"

Another 3 year old quote.  Or quote from a 3 year old rather.
Brayden:  "Ms. Fran is Autumn going to be in charge again?"
Me:  "Yes she is."
Brayden: "Ha ha Alex your mom said Autumn is in charge!"

Back to School

Oh it was a good day.  Let's start with last night.

Autumn and I want to go on a Mission trip to Laos and I had some new info to give her but was trying to tell her something else.
Autumn:  "Wait.... you didn't tell me about Laos."
AJ:  "WHAT?  What about a mouse?"

Today we were talking about anecdotes in writing class.  So I said that it is a very short story added to catch a reader's attention.  They are currently writing on Revolutionary War figures.
Megan:  "Like for Paul Revere, you could write about his ride."
Autumn:  "What did he have a great car or something?"
Girls:  "Autumn they didn't have cars!"
Autumn:  "Fine!  It was a nice horse.  A MUSTANG!"  Ha ha ha ah.

Later we were getting details for our semester service project.
Megan:  "25 and 30 people."
Me:  "So 55 people?"
Gabriella:  "25 TO 30 Ms. Fran."
Me:  "I know.  It's just fun to mess with Megan."
Ms.  Jennifer:  "It's just too easy!  Just like Autumn."
Autumn: OOWWW!!!! (Right on cue she snapped herself in the face with her hair tie.)

They make my sides hurt.

Slow Weekend??

No not really.  I know you're wondering where your quotes are though.  Only have two.

We were eating at Fridays and AJ had to leave for work.
AJ: "Mom can you tell the server to put my dessert in a togo box?"
Me:  "Sure!  Ma'am?  Can you put his dessert in a togo box?"
AJ:  "WOW mom!  I could've done that!  I meant when they brought the desserts out.  Then you could just take it home for me."
Me:  "Oh!"
Still have no idea what I was thinking.  He's 20 for pete's sake and has not been shy about asking his own questions since he was ... well born pretty much!

We have to keep our front door locked by the dead bolt because it has never closed properly.  You can just push it and it opens.  Tonight during our family meeting we were discussing things that need to be fixed.
AJ:  "Yeah the other day I actually had to turn the knob to get in the front door."
So now, when things are working properly, we bring it up for the list of things that need to be fixed?  Is it that much of a shocker that something works right?

Just another day

Today we were parking in the hospital garage and AJ decided to back in.  We had Braydon.
Braydn:  Why are you backing in?
Me:  Cause AJ is cool like that.
Brayden:  My dad's cool like that.

When we were leaving the hospital and deciding on lunch, AJ reminded us he couldn't have fast food.
Autumn:  Is it still fast food if we sit down?
Me:  Yep.
Autumn:  What about if they give it to us really slowly?
Me:  Yes it's still fast food.
AJ:  Autumn I think you try to get quotes sometimes.
Me:  No way.  She comes up with them way to quickly.  She doesn't think about what she's saying.  Which is why she gets so many quotes.

At Perkins, talking to the server at another table.
AJ:  Excuse me, do you have any butter?
Server:  Butter?  Yes we do.  Would you like some?
AJ:  (to the server) yes please.  (To me)  Nope, I'm just taking a survey to see if Perkins has butter.

On the way home.
Brayden:  I'm gonna tell my mommy I want my birthday at that McDonalds (The world's largest on Idrive)
Autumn:  Yeah?  Do you want to do the sling shot too?
Braydon:  No but I want someone to do the sling shot.  I want to tell mommy I want my birthday at McDonald's and daddy can do the sling shot.
I don't think Brayden knows what he committed Daddy to.

This is some funny stuff...

Ok tonight was a great quote night.

1.  Let's begin with the anonymous quote.  This is from someone I was texting today.

Me:  Did you find your iPod?
Anonymous Texter:  Yes, in one of my purses.  It was on the bottom ... blended in.  Couldn't feel it... my last time looking for it and then I was giving up.
Me:  Good ole Murphy.  Have a great trip.
AT:  You're not speaking my language.  Thanks...
Me:  Murphy's Law?
AT:  Yeah I've heard of it.  Never watched it?
Me:  Are you kidding me?  Do you know what Murphy's Law is?
AT:  Nope.
Me:  OK.  I'm sending you an email (with a link to the explanation of Murphy's Law).  And you just made my blog.  Anonymously of course.

Her reply to the email I sent:  "Next time tell me that everyone but me knows.  I just asked the group and got the look of... are you kidding me?"


2.  Next up, of course, is the ride to church.  It wouldn't be a successful car ride if we didn't have a few quotes.

AJ: "Have you ever been so sore that you walk like a penguin?"
Autumn:  "This is awkward............................  yes."

3.  In response to Autumn's shaving quote from earlier.

AJ:  "Did you really stop shaving half way through?"
Autumn:  "Um... kind of?" 

Huh?

4.  Jeff was driving and using a toothpick at the same time.

AJ:  "Dad is multitasking!"
Autumn:  "Actually he is tritasking cause he's doing three things."
AJ:  "Multitasking covers all of it Autumn.  It's doing multiple things.  You don't say Doubletasking"
Autumn:  "That would be bitaxing."  

5.  And then the finale.

AJ:  "This water bottle is warped."
Alex:  "Did it travel through time?"
AJ:  "What?"
Alex:  "You know like Star Trek?"
Me:  "Like, 'Beam me up Scotty?'"
AJ:  "Mom, that's not Star Trek.
Me and Jeff and Alex:  "What?  Yes it is."
AJ:  "'Beam me up Scotty' is NOT Star Trek guys!"
Me:  "Ok then what is it?"
AJ:  "That's Spaceballs."

If you've seen the movie Spaceballs, you'll get that.  If not, well I don't know what to tell ya.  By the way, in Spaceballs it's "Beam me down Snotty."

Quotes from you know who...

Autumn:  "Don't you hate it when you're in the middle of shaving your legs in the shower and you think, 'This is boring.  I don't want to do this anymore.  Let's do something else.'"

FYI - I'm not eating bread right now.
Autumn:  "Ok let's have croissants for lunch."
Me:  "That's bread."
Autumn:  "Ok we can have cereal, corn, or peanut butter and jelly.... fingers."
Me: "Fingers?"
Autumn:  "Well you're not eating bread."

Not too young to make the blog.

Today we have three year old quotes and then a bonus from the hospital technician.

First up is Nolan.  He wanted a cookie and asked Autumn to get him one.  She told him to ask his mommy.  After a few minutes of trying to get mommy's attention, Nolan looked at Autumn and said, "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" Autumn replied, "Nolan, I am not your mommy."  Nolan's response, "Can you pretend to be for a minute?"

Next is Braydon.  We were returning to the car during our shopping trip and his mom wanted him to get in on my side.
Andrea:  "Stay by Ms. Fran."
Braydon:  "BYE MS. FRAN!"
ha ha.  He heard "Say 'Bye Ms. Fran.""

Today's last quote comes from guy serving as my dad's hospital tech.  Dad was having trouble getting himself situated in the bed so he was rocking back and forth.  The tech said, "You're like a overturned turtle."  LOL.  He was great.  Dad called him a hippie.  Oh Daddy!

Can't keep up today

Man it's like I was gone for a few days or something.  They keep giving me better quotes to share.

Autumn was asking whether it was closer to take her to her friend's house or to their beach destination.  So a heated discussion ensued because the friend lives in town.  The boys couldn't believe Autumn had to ask that question.
Alex:  "It's like asking if the sun or the moon is closer to the earth."
Dead Silence....
AJ:  "I don't even know the answer to that one."
Autumn:  "Facepalm."

I told Autumn that for her 16th birthday I wanted to take her to the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique and dress her up like a princess.
Autumn:  "I do NOT want to go to the Bibbity Bobbity Booby!"

Ah it's good to be home.

Time for Autumnisms....

I told Autumn that I introduced a friend to a song called You Fail Us Not.
She heard:  You Fail Snot.

She was telling us about going to the Apple store last night to see the new iPhone and play with a new app called Siri.  You talk to it and it answers question.  "We asked it where we could bury a dead body.  It gave us a bunch of graveyards and creeks."
Me: "It gave you creeks?  Are you thinking of crematoriums?"
Autumn:  Whatever.

Luna the cat was licking Phoenix's (the other cat's) paw.  Phoenix started to swat at Luna.
Me:  Phoenix, she's just trying lick you paw to clean it.
Autumn:  Who's trying to lick Phoenix's paw?
AJ and I together: Alex!  Who do you think?

Having a stare down with AJ she was trying to send a text to Kelsey without looking at it.
The text was supposed to say, "I'm in a stare down with AJ.  Ha ha ha ha.  This is impossible."
What she sent (cause she wasn't looking):  O. onm a srar spwm worb AK ha ha ha ha his os o.com.possob,w ;)PP.

And it's only 12:30.

Weekend at Women of Faith

Four of us road in the car to Tampa and back.  Four of us have quotes.  Yes all FOUR.  I'm in here too.  So here is a short back story.  Joy, Melissa, Andrea and I all went to Tampa for Women of Faith.  Great weekend.  I've been getting to know Andrea over the last month or so.  I was really just getting to know Melissa and Joy this weekend.  In other words, these are new relationships.  What better way to get to know these women than to spend an hour and half in the car and then spend the night in a shady motel together.  For more on that, you'll have to wait for me to post the story on my other blog.

Melissa had a notebook that had, "Find the Sasquatch" printed on it.  The goal was to find a Sasquatch in a forest of trees.  No problem, unless you confuse Sasquatch with Sacajawea.
Melissa - "Find the Sasquatch"
Andrea - "What?  Like an indian?"

In the car on the way home we were discussing the speakers who were missing.  We figured out that they must be at another women's event that is occurring in California and put on by Women of Faith.  The name is "Over the Top"
Melissa:  "The must be at the other conference."
Joy:  "What was that on called?"
Melissa:  "On the Top."
Not exactly the best name for a Christian women's conference.  Funny though.

Same car ride.  We were having to make a quick exit to turn around.  So we swerved over in to the right lane.
Joy- "THIS IS AN EXIT ONLY LANE!"
Me - (Laughing hysterically)
Andrea - "Yes you want to exit."
Joy - "Oh I thought that meant you couldn't get back on."

Later we were talking about the multiple fiascos we had this weekend.  I am a magnet for fiascos so I had wanted to say it was my fault.
Melissa:  "Yeah it was crazy because I was there."
Me:  "I was about to say the same thing."
Everyone:  (Laughing)
Me:  "NO!! I meant I was going to say that it always happens to me!"

And that's how people break the ice.  I had a great time.

It was an "Autumn" Day

So Alex was using a tape measure that had an Epson label on it.
Autumn:  Epson... they make salt.
She was thinking of epsom salt.

Later, she came home from soccer practice limping.  She just goes to work out with her team although she's not on the team this year.
Autumn:  "I'm ok.  I don't need to be carried.  It's not sprained.  It's not even broken.  It's not even swollen. I doubt it."  (She surpassed the talking speed limit at this point.)  "The bad news is, I stepped in a hole.  The good news is, I know where it is for next time."  Ah my little Pollyanna.

Sunday's Quotes

Anytime all five of us ride in the same car, there is sure to be quotes and last night was no exception.   But first, we have a quote from dinner with the Bores kids.

Me:  Katie, do you take Singulair (allergy medication).
Christian:  (From the other end of the table)  No we have AT&T.

This is the gist of the car conversation.  Our power was out so we were talking about electricity.

AJ:  I hope the power's back on because I have studying to do.
Me:  You know they didn't have electricity in the 19th century and kids went to school then.
Autumn:  Mom, they went to school during the DAY.
(Good point.)
AJ:  Well not if they lived on one of those continents where it is dark all the time.  Which continent does that?
Autumn:  Alaska.
AJ:  Autumn, Alaska is a STATE.  I said CONTINENT.
Alex:  The north pole and south pole.
AJ:  Alex I said continent.  CON-TIN-ENT.
Me:  Ok well Antarctica and the extreme northern parts of North America and Europe.
AJ:  Mom, isn't that Canada?
Me:  Canada's not a CON-TIN-ENT.

More friend quotes

A young lady was getting a ride home from us and telling us about their trip to Jeremiah's ice cream place last night.

"It was on some street over there.  Hiroshima, I think.  No wait, that's the name of a war.  No, not a war.  The name of a bomb in a war.  Something like that."

LOL.  She was trying to say Horatio.

"Friend" Quote from Friday

So I was talking to a friend yesterday and we were discussing a somewhat stressful situation she was in.
Friend:  "I just had to sit and decompose for a few minutes."
Me:  "Decompress?"
Friend's husband:  "It was so bad she was rotting before their eyes!"

Autumisms

We have a day of just Autumn quotes.  So here are your Autumnisms.

"Mom, we gotta come up with a compromise!  Either I like chemistry, or I don't!"
I think she was trying to give me an ultimatum.  I think we'll be doing more vocabulary this year.

I heard something hit the wall in her room so I went to check on her.
Me:  Are you ok?
Autumn: Yep
Me:  What happened?
Autumn: I threw a pencil at the ceiling fan.
Me:  Why?
Autumn:  Because it's fun and chemistry is stupid.
Me:  OH! So you lost your temper.
Autumn:  Nope!  It's just fun.

Later she was trying tell me about the inside of a firetruck.
Autumn:  You know what the inside of the truck looks like so you've seen the laptop.
Me:  Yes but there were no laptops when I was doing my EMT training.
Autumn:  (shocked)  WHAT?  There wasn't?  So how did they find the houses?
Me:  Um - a map!

School Day Quotes

So today we had our high school co op.  That means more quotes of course!

Last night Autumn was working on her paper to turn in for writing today.  It was on the "Shot Heard 'Round the World."
Autumn:  "I'm not gonna give a spoiler but I killed someone.  I killed Paul Revere.  Just kidding.... I killed George Washington.  Ha ha ha."  WHAT?  I haven't read it yet but I'm a little frightened.

During chemistry I said, "What's in the back?" meaning, what's at the end of the equation.  But Megan and Gabriella were talking at the back table. So Autumn and Vicky said, "Two talking girls!"

After doing chemistry for a while, Autumn was sick of it.  This is the conversation that took place.
Autumn:  "Let's move to Africa."
Vicky:  "If you don't want education, move to Uruguay.  But watch out for the gangs."
Autumn:  "I'll teach the gangsters soccer.  Gangsters love soccer!"

Day One

We had tricolored pasta for dinner.
Autumn:  "This pasta has a fungus!"
Fran:  "WHAT?"
Autumn:  "It has a fungus.  I know!  I studied biology!!"

After dinner.
Fran:  I need a flosser.
Jeff:  I do too.
Fran:  Why don't you go get one for both of us?
Jeff:  You want to SHARE my flosser?
Fran:  Oh... no one for each of us!

Classics

To start this off, I give you some of my all time favorite quotes!  Enjoy.

Autumn: "your room is nice and dark. The sun shines through my window 24-7."

Autumn: Going door to door handing out holiday greetings... "Do we still have to say Merry Christmas if they don't answer the door?"

Alex: "Has anyone seen my toothbrush?" 

All: "NO." 

Alex:  Five minutes later: "OK Who threw my toothbrush in the trash?" 

All: "I didn't."

Alex: "Well someone did...." 

AJ: "I threw my toothbrush in the trash cause I got a new one."

 Alex: "Wait, have you been using MY toothbrush?" 

AJ: "Is it Blue and white?" 

Alex: "YES"

AJ: "Then YES." 

All: "EEEWWWWW!!!!"

Autumn:  "Pharisee's were STALKERS!!" 

Jeff .... (on the phone from the store) "Hi honey can you help me.... um the weirdest thing just happened. I was driving down the road with the windows down and.... your grocery list flew out of the window. What was on it again?"

Alex: "Mom remember when I saw that animal in the backyard.... what was it a hippopotamus or something?" (FYI it was a opossum)

Deep thoughts from a lovable 11 year old: (about a bug on the wall) "if it falls it dies and if it dies it falls."

Autumn during Math: "I thought you used that rule if you WANTED to...."

Fran to dog - "Come here dummy."

Autumn - "Did you call me?"

Amanda -Break Autumn's arm so we can get a wheelchair. Then we can get in the fastpass lane at space mountain. (What a plan. Cause having a broken arm definitely impairs your walking ability)

AJ, Amanda and Autumn went to ride the Astro Orbiter (the rockets that are up on top of the building in tomorrow land). To get up there you have to take an elevator. SO they are waiting to get on the ride after they got off the elevator on top of the building. That's the set up.
AJ to Amanda - "When I was little, I always wondered how you got up here."
Autumn - "Wait, how DID we get up here?"

Autumn: "I did not walk into a tree... I tripped over my foot."

Autumn: "AJ are you a democrat or a republican. AJ: I'm neither. Autumn: So you're a Repicrack."

Autumn: "Hey Alex what are the 8 parts of speech." 

Alex HEARD: "Hey Alex what is A plus Speech." 

Alex Answered: "Uh.. A plus speech is A SPEECH?"

Autumn- "In my dream, the world was falling apart. Everything was SOGGY!!"

AJ:  "Mom I'm glad you had Autumn... she's cheaper than cable."

While filling out Autumn's application to be an Explorer for Apopka Fire Department, she saw the part in the application where it said Emergency Contact.  She said, "Can I just put them (meaning the fire department)?"

Fran:  "Oh look, the mobile shot clinic is at walgreens. We should take phoenix (the cat) in for the rest of his shots."
Jeff:  "Will the shot calm him down?"
Fran: " No."
Jeff: "Neuter Him?"
Fran: "No."
Jeff:  "Put him to sleep?"
Fran:  "No."
Jeff:  "Then what is the shot for?"
Fran:  "It's his immunizations!"
Jeff: "And do I have to PAY for this WORTHLESS shot?"

Autumn: "No wonder why people say evolution is real. That thing looks like a human bear leopard dog thing."

So we are discussing the origins of Winnie the Pooh and I was telling Autumn that they were the stuffed animals of the author's son.
Autumn: "So what animals are they?"
Fran: "Eeyore's a donkey. Kanga is a kangaroo."
Autumn: "Yeah but..."
Fran: "Rabbit is a rabbit"
Autumn: "Yeah but" (getting annoyed)
Fran: "Owl's an owl"
Autumn: "Yeah but what is piglet? (hesitates a minute) GOT IT!"

I told AJ to "eyeball" the amount of cream cheese he puts in the chicken packets. I went and checked on him. Yeah. He thought I meant put the amount of cream cheese to equal the size of an eyeball. Love having the kids cook dinner.

So... Autumn is not so proficient at Geography. We were looking at the map in our school room and I said, "Don't get confused Autumn but there are two Alaska's on the map (one on each side)." She stares at it for a minute and then says, "OH! The world is round."

Talking about a part time job for Jeff-

AJ - "You could ref soccer."

Alex - "Or you could be an emperor for baseball."

AJ - "Either I am working on Sunday or I'm off." (Well thanks for letting me know.)

Autumn: "Mom, do you know where the Grimm Brother's were born?"
Alex: "Aren't they the ones who built the airplane?"
Autumn: "No. That was the White (sic) Brothers."

Last night...
Jeff (when we couldn't hear our TV over the one in the living room): "Man the kids have that TV up WAY too loud."
Fran: "AUTUMN!!"
Autumn: "Yes?"
Fran: "Can you please turn the TV down?"
Autumn (sarcastically): "REALLY?" (turns down OUR TV)
I guess she thought we were too lazy to lift the remote up and turn down our own TV.

Jeff came out and found Autumn on his computer. Come to find out he was mad because Autumn signed him out of Facebook and he has a hard time remembering his user name and password. 

Fran: "At least she didn't hack your account!" 

Autumn: "That's ALMOST true!"

Autumn: "Hey let's go to McDonald's or 3 Pigs BBQ" (It's actually called Bubbalou's BBQ.)
Jeff: "Autumn, did the 3 pigs get eaten in the story?"
Autumn: "No dad. They ran into the wolf's house. DUH!"

Autumn was drawing a picture of alex in the air and we were trying to guess what she meant.
Alex: "Is it a devil?"
Autumn: "Laughing, "Not necessarily."
Me: "You gave him horns!"
Autumn: "So! Horns doesn't mean he's the devil. He could be a PIG."

Autumn:  ‎"That stuff was GOOD. I took a bite of Paige.... correction I took a bite of PAIGE'S. Cause that would just be awkward."

Paige said to Alex: "Boy if you don't knock it off I'm gonna climb up there and smack you in the face."

Autumn: "Isn't that like Child Abuse or something?"
Alex: "It is. I should call IRS!!"

Jeff: "AJ what movie are you going to see?"
AJ: "Tron"
Autumn: "It's like John, but without the "T"
OH WOW!!!!

Autumn:  "I hystericate myself" 

Autumn:  "I give up on Reading.... it's TOO HARD!" (She was reading the dialogue on a game.)

Fran: "Did AJ leave yet?"

Autumn:  "I don't know.  All I know is he's still here."

Autumn:  "Do you ever look at your leg and think, 'Gosh, it's so long, I wonder if it's even mine?'"

Autumn: "Hey Mom, Dad said he's still at Walmart. . . He's buying stuff."

AJ:  "Well I'd hope so.  He doesn't usually go there to hang out."

Alex: "You can't be sick Autumn. You're short."
Autumn: "WHAT? Do you want me to get you a shovel?" (MEaning he's digging himself a hole)
Alex: "You may need one to reach me."

Autumn and Alex were fighting and annoying me.
Autumn "Can you please smack him?"
Fran: "I'm gonna smack both of you!"
Autumn: "Can you please smack him first?"

Autumn:  "I am definitely tempted to step on this hamster (hamper)."

While watching Eclipse:
Autumn:  "I wish my best friend was a werewolf."
Fran: "Can you imagine petting the top of her head like that?"
Autumn: "It would be awkward if she started purring."
AJ and Fran: "Dogs don't purr Autumn."