Updates

I have some post it note quotes I better put in before they get lost.  

Autumn:  (During Home Ec)  These artichioves smell really bad!

Alex:  Mom, I need to interview you.
Me:  Ok ask away.
Alex:  Where were you when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon?
Me:  That was 1969.  I wasn't born yet.
Alex:  Oh.  I guess they want me to ask someone older.
Me:  I guess so.
Alex:  Ok, what about when JFK was assassinated?
Me:  Alex, that was before the moon landing.
Alex:  Oh.  What about 9/11.
Me:  I remember that.  I was driving in my car and I heard it on the radio.  I remember where I was when I heard it.  I had just dropped you kids off at school or daycare and I....
Alex:  I might need to ask someone else because usually people have a certain smell or sound that triggers their memory.
Me: Well I remember everything was blue.
Alex:  Were you in Smurfland?
Yeah that interview was over.  

Nolan:  It's really dark out here.
Me:  I thought you said you were nocturnal.
Nolan:  I can still be nocturnal.
(Oh sorry)

Came home this morning and Jeff was spraying down our driveway.
Me:  What are you doing?
Jeff:  It's the mass massacre of the ant colony 2011!!!
Later we came outside and they were back.
Me:  Looks like you have to pull out the big guns honey.
This afternoon we pulled into the driveway and Jeff pulled up then backed out, pulled up, then backed out.
Me:  Are you trying to kill the ants with the car?
Jeff:  YES I AM!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA.

Sometimes I have to quote myself.  Everyone else bears the brunt of my quotes so here is my quote of the day:
This morning I took Autumn to ref a soccer game. On the way there I went over a speed hump at full speed.
Me:  I didn't see that.
Later, Jeff and I went to pick her up.  On the way back as Jeff was driving over the hump...
Autumn:  There's that speed hump.
Me:  To Jeff   Yeah I missed that earlier.
Jeff:  You went over it full speed?
Me:  Yep.  I don't think there's a sign.
Jeff:  Yep there's a sign and there's also an arrow on the road.
Me:  Oh I didn't see the sign and the arrow just confirmed I was going the right way.
Jeff:  The only way it could have been more obvious honey is if there were flashing lights saying, "HEY DUMMY, THERE'S A SPEED HUMP RIGHT THERE!!!"
I'm taking him a different way next time.

Here is the story Autumn brought home from reffing.
Other ref:  So how are your parents?
Autumn:  What?
Other ref:  How are your parents?
Autumn:  Um... they ... are... fine?
Other ref:  So ... they aren't too mean today?
Autumn:  OHHHHH you mean the parents on the field!!!  I was confused.

There was the cutest little girl at basketball but her shorts were bugging her and she kept pulling at them.
Me:  She needs to throw those shorts out.
Autumn:  Not right now she doesn't.
Me:  Yeah that would be awkward.

Just now she laid down next to me and was laughing.  
Autumn:  I drank too much water.  Listen.
You could hear the water sloshing around in her stomach.  Which made her laugh harder.  Which made the water slosh more.  Which made her laugh harder.   See the problem yet?


There now we're all caught up.  God Bless!