New Quotes

So I was going to wait until tomorrow to post these but, well, I couldn't wait to share some of them.

We went to Gainesville this weekend and went to the Gator game.  
Autumn:  Man, all those cheerleaders were in a sorority.  The guys were even in a farority.

Autumn:  If I go to school here all I will need to know is where is my dorm, my classes and the nearest Chick Fil A.

So were eating dinner last night and discussing AJ's upcoming cruise.  Autumn looked over and saw my plate was empty at the same time Jeff posed this question to AJ.
Jeff:  So where are you going on your cruise?
Autumn:  Hungry?
Alex:  Really Autumn?  Hungary?

It's not really that surprising since her geography skills are nonexistent.  Speaking of geography, I got an email from a friend the other night.  Her daughter also has geography issues.  So I was responding that our daughters shared this affliction I called ageographiosis, meaning without geography skills.
Autumn:  Yes I know, we lack geometry skills.
Alex:  You mean geography?
Autumn:  Whatever.
Alex:  Yeah I am much better at geography.
Autumn:  Oh yeah well then tell me where Tijuana Flats is?
Alex:  Really?
Autumn:  How about Tai Kwondo?  Where's that?

Autumn was a little snarky today so Jeff asked this question:
Jeff:  If I beat her is it child abuse?
Autumn:  YES...
Jeff:  What if I don't leave a mark?
Autumn:  It will leave a mark here (points to her heart)
She's a clever one....
Jeff's response:  So the question is am I willing to take that chance?

This was our exchange when she was finishing her paper tonight on the Constitution.
Autumn:  What should I write for this last paragraph?
Me:  Well you could say how innovative the document was.
Autumn:  What does innovative mean?
Me:  Look it up.
Autumn:  I don't want to.  Just tell me.  All I know is that it is a computer term.
Me:  (Giggling)
Autumn:  Fine.  (Grabs the computer)  Innovation... the act or process of being innovating.... ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!
Me:  (Laughing)
Autumn:  Can I just say that the Constitution is WAY less exciting than the Declaration of Independence?  The Declaration is like "BAM... IN YOUR FACE... WE'RE FREE... TAKE THAT!!!"  The Constitution is like, "Here are some laws.  Follow them."  It's so anti .... anticlimacticate... anticlim.... it's so downhill.

Quotes of the week

I'm having a hard time coming up with new post titles.  Hmm.


So here is a thought, you ever notice how no one comes over unannounced when the house is clean?  Today the realtor came over to take pictures so our house is uber clean (that's a word.  I made it up myself.)


So here are the quotes you've been missing.

Tricia was here helping me clean up this week.
Tricia:  Strip.  Wait... don't strip.  What do you want me to do with this power strip.

Me:  Autumn, can you get my phone out of my room?
Autumn comes back with my power cord for my laptop.
Me:  What are you doing?
Autumn:  (Trying to act innocent but can't keep a straight face.)  What?  You didn't want your power cord?
Me:  I wanted my phone.
Autumn:  Ok ok I got in there and thought... wait, what did she ask for?  So I just grabbed the computer cord.

Our kids have the computer that is hooked up to the printer.  So when you want to print wirelessly, that computer has to be on and awake.  Jeff has been using this computer's monitor to fix another computer.  So there is a keyboard on the desk and another one in the keyboard drawer.  That's the set up.
Jeff:  AJ did you mean to print two copies of this paper?
AJ:  Well it didn't print the first time so I tried again.  Then I realized that Autumn had turned off her computer cause I couldn't wake it up so I printed it to the other printer.
Autumn:  AJ I did not turn off the computer.
AJ:  Yes you did.  I couldn't wake it up.  I hit the spacebar and nothing happened.
Looks down and realizes there are two keyboards
AJ:  Wait... it that keyboard even hooked up?

Fun Days

Ok so there are several here.  Hold on to your hats and sunglasses!  This is gonna be a wild ride.

Don't know if you are familiar with this but it is said that men's brains are like boxes (or waffles) and women's brains are like wires (or spaghetti).  However, my husband has the ability to have several boxes out at once.  My sons, do not.  So Alex was a little behind in the conversation.
Jeff:  Come on man, try to keep up!
Alex:  I'm sorry Mr. Soggy Boxes.

Me:  Autumn, can you see that?
Jeff:  No she can't see!  She's driving!

Autumn:  I'm unalohaing myself.
Us:  WHAT?
Autumn:  I'm unalohaing myself.  Aloha means family.  Family means nobody gets left behind... or forgotten.
Me:  That's OHANA!

Me:  Ok so let's think of different ways to say "they wanted."  (meaning the writers of the Constitution).  Start with "They."
Megan:  The delegates, the writers, the men...
Autumn:  The dudes, the criminals, the gangsters....
Me:  Wow ok.  How about "wanted."
Megan:  Desired, aspired...
Autumn:  were diggin' it....
ARGH!!!

Me:  What is the First Amendment of the Constitution?
Megan:  Thou shalt not kill!
Autumn:  No it's NOT!!!!  It's there is only ONE God.

I also have some from my Monday coop...
I have one student who did not understand why he had to wear his safety goggles when we were only using corn starch and water.  A few minutes later he jumped back when his partner splashed it toward his face.
Student:  WHOA I get it now!  It's not because there will be an explosion!  It's because HE is my partner!  Ok!

Same Student to his partner:  Be careful.  You could hurt yourself with those.
Partner:  They are kiddie scissors!
Student:  HEY kitties are dangerous.  They have claws.

I am on sabbatical from Facebook so I might not have this totally correct but here is the gist of a conversation of two sisters who are in my chemistry class.
Sister 1 - I wonder why no one wanted to go up to the board in chem class?
Sister 2 - I don't know.  I would have gone up but I wasn't really wearing a board writing outfit today.

Have a blessed day!

Updates

I have some post it note quotes I better put in before they get lost.  

Autumn:  (During Home Ec)  These artichioves smell really bad!

Alex:  Mom, I need to interview you.
Me:  Ok ask away.
Alex:  Where were you when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon?
Me:  That was 1969.  I wasn't born yet.
Alex:  Oh.  I guess they want me to ask someone older.
Me:  I guess so.
Alex:  Ok, what about when JFK was assassinated?
Me:  Alex, that was before the moon landing.
Alex:  Oh.  What about 9/11.
Me:  I remember that.  I was driving in my car and I heard it on the radio.  I remember where I was when I heard it.  I had just dropped you kids off at school or daycare and I....
Alex:  I might need to ask someone else because usually people have a certain smell or sound that triggers their memory.
Me: Well I remember everything was blue.
Alex:  Were you in Smurfland?
Yeah that interview was over.  

Nolan:  It's really dark out here.
Me:  I thought you said you were nocturnal.
Nolan:  I can still be nocturnal.
(Oh sorry)

Came home this morning and Jeff was spraying down our driveway.
Me:  What are you doing?
Jeff:  It's the mass massacre of the ant colony 2011!!!
Later we came outside and they were back.
Me:  Looks like you have to pull out the big guns honey.
This afternoon we pulled into the driveway and Jeff pulled up then backed out, pulled up, then backed out.
Me:  Are you trying to kill the ants with the car?
Jeff:  YES I AM!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA.

Sometimes I have to quote myself.  Everyone else bears the brunt of my quotes so here is my quote of the day:
This morning I took Autumn to ref a soccer game. On the way there I went over a speed hump at full speed.
Me:  I didn't see that.
Later, Jeff and I went to pick her up.  On the way back as Jeff was driving over the hump...
Autumn:  There's that speed hump.
Me:  To Jeff   Yeah I missed that earlier.
Jeff:  You went over it full speed?
Me:  Yep.  I don't think there's a sign.
Jeff:  Yep there's a sign and there's also an arrow on the road.
Me:  Oh I didn't see the sign and the arrow just confirmed I was going the right way.
Jeff:  The only way it could have been more obvious honey is if there were flashing lights saying, "HEY DUMMY, THERE'S A SPEED HUMP RIGHT THERE!!!"
I'm taking him a different way next time.

Here is the story Autumn brought home from reffing.
Other ref:  So how are your parents?
Autumn:  What?
Other ref:  How are your parents?
Autumn:  Um... they ... are... fine?
Other ref:  So ... they aren't too mean today?
Autumn:  OHHHHH you mean the parents on the field!!!  I was confused.

There was the cutest little girl at basketball but her shorts were bugging her and she kept pulling at them.
Me:  She needs to throw those shorts out.
Autumn:  Not right now she doesn't.
Me:  Yeah that would be awkward.

Just now she laid down next to me and was laughing.  
Autumn:  I drank too much water.  Listen.
You could hear the water sloshing around in her stomach.  Which made her laugh harder.  Which made the water slosh more.  Which made her laugh harder.   See the problem yet?


There now we're all caught up.  God Bless!

These people make me happy

Autumn wrote this on the board while I was on the telephone.
"The next time I dust my fan, remind me to take a shower after and not before.  AND to turn the light off first."

Later my kids were in a fight so the ride to church was a little quiet.  So I told Jeff, well this is different.  He said, "I don't know if they are tired of it the car destroyed their mouths."
Me:  "WHAT?"
Jeff:  "Well I was going to say the cat got their tongue but that was more interesting."
So I still got a quote out of the car ride to church.

Tricia came by tonight and Nolan was in the back seat.
Nolan:  "MS. FRAN!!! I'm nocturnal!!!"
Me:  "You are?"
Nolan: "Because, because, um because I can see in the dark!"

Another 3 year old quote.  Or quote from a 3 year old rather.
Brayden:  "Ms. Fran is Autumn going to be in charge again?"
Me:  "Yes she is."
Brayden: "Ha ha Alex your mom said Autumn is in charge!"

Back to School

Oh it was a good day.  Let's start with last night.

Autumn and I want to go on a Mission trip to Laos and I had some new info to give her but was trying to tell her something else.
Autumn:  "Wait.... you didn't tell me about Laos."
AJ:  "WHAT?  What about a mouse?"

Today we were talking about anecdotes in writing class.  So I said that it is a very short story added to catch a reader's attention.  They are currently writing on Revolutionary War figures.
Megan:  "Like for Paul Revere, you could write about his ride."
Autumn:  "What did he have a great car or something?"
Girls:  "Autumn they didn't have cars!"
Autumn:  "Fine!  It was a nice horse.  A MUSTANG!"  Ha ha ha ah.

Later we were getting details for our semester service project.
Megan:  "25 and 30 people."
Me:  "So 55 people?"
Gabriella:  "25 TO 30 Ms. Fran."
Me:  "I know.  It's just fun to mess with Megan."
Ms.  Jennifer:  "It's just too easy!  Just like Autumn."
Autumn: OOWWW!!!! (Right on cue she snapped herself in the face with her hair tie.)

They make my sides hurt.

Slow Weekend??

No not really.  I know you're wondering where your quotes are though.  Only have two.

We were eating at Fridays and AJ had to leave for work.
AJ: "Mom can you tell the server to put my dessert in a togo box?"
Me:  "Sure!  Ma'am?  Can you put his dessert in a togo box?"
AJ:  "WOW mom!  I could've done that!  I meant when they brought the desserts out.  Then you could just take it home for me."
Me:  "Oh!"
Still have no idea what I was thinking.  He's 20 for pete's sake and has not been shy about asking his own questions since he was ... well born pretty much!

We have to keep our front door locked by the dead bolt because it has never closed properly.  You can just push it and it opens.  Tonight during our family meeting we were discussing things that need to be fixed.
AJ:  "Yeah the other day I actually had to turn the knob to get in the front door."
So now, when things are working properly, we bring it up for the list of things that need to be fixed?  Is it that much of a shocker that something works right?