Updates

I have some post it note quotes I better put in before they get lost.  

Autumn:  (During Home Ec)  These artichioves smell really bad!

Alex:  Mom, I need to interview you.
Me:  Ok ask away.
Alex:  Where were you when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon?
Me:  That was 1969.  I wasn't born yet.
Alex:  Oh.  I guess they want me to ask someone older.
Me:  I guess so.
Alex:  Ok, what about when JFK was assassinated?
Me:  Alex, that was before the moon landing.
Alex:  Oh.  What about 9/11.
Me:  I remember that.  I was driving in my car and I heard it on the radio.  I remember where I was when I heard it.  I had just dropped you kids off at school or daycare and I....
Alex:  I might need to ask someone else because usually people have a certain smell or sound that triggers their memory.
Me: Well I remember everything was blue.
Alex:  Were you in Smurfland?
Yeah that interview was over.  

Nolan:  It's really dark out here.
Me:  I thought you said you were nocturnal.
Nolan:  I can still be nocturnal.
(Oh sorry)

Came home this morning and Jeff was spraying down our driveway.
Me:  What are you doing?
Jeff:  It's the mass massacre of the ant colony 2011!!!
Later we came outside and they were back.
Me:  Looks like you have to pull out the big guns honey.
This afternoon we pulled into the driveway and Jeff pulled up then backed out, pulled up, then backed out.
Me:  Are you trying to kill the ants with the car?
Jeff:  YES I AM!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA.

Sometimes I have to quote myself.  Everyone else bears the brunt of my quotes so here is my quote of the day:
This morning I took Autumn to ref a soccer game. On the way there I went over a speed hump at full speed.
Me:  I didn't see that.
Later, Jeff and I went to pick her up.  On the way back as Jeff was driving over the hump...
Autumn:  There's that speed hump.
Me:  To Jeff   Yeah I missed that earlier.
Jeff:  You went over it full speed?
Me:  Yep.  I don't think there's a sign.
Jeff:  Yep there's a sign and there's also an arrow on the road.
Me:  Oh I didn't see the sign and the arrow just confirmed I was going the right way.
Jeff:  The only way it could have been more obvious honey is if there were flashing lights saying, "HEY DUMMY, THERE'S A SPEED HUMP RIGHT THERE!!!"
I'm taking him a different way next time.

Here is the story Autumn brought home from reffing.
Other ref:  So how are your parents?
Autumn:  What?
Other ref:  How are your parents?
Autumn:  Um... they ... are... fine?
Other ref:  So ... they aren't too mean today?
Autumn:  OHHHHH you mean the parents on the field!!!  I was confused.

There was the cutest little girl at basketball but her shorts were bugging her and she kept pulling at them.
Me:  She needs to throw those shorts out.
Autumn:  Not right now she doesn't.
Me:  Yeah that would be awkward.

Just now she laid down next to me and was laughing.  
Autumn:  I drank too much water.  Listen.
You could hear the water sloshing around in her stomach.  Which made her laugh harder.  Which made the water slosh more.  Which made her laugh harder.   See the problem yet?


There now we're all caught up.  God Bless!

These people make me happy

Autumn wrote this on the board while I was on the telephone.
"The next time I dust my fan, remind me to take a shower after and not before.  AND to turn the light off first."

Later my kids were in a fight so the ride to church was a little quiet.  So I told Jeff, well this is different.  He said, "I don't know if they are tired of it the car destroyed their mouths."
Me:  "WHAT?"
Jeff:  "Well I was going to say the cat got their tongue but that was more interesting."
So I still got a quote out of the car ride to church.

Tricia came by tonight and Nolan was in the back seat.
Nolan:  "MS. FRAN!!! I'm nocturnal!!!"
Me:  "You are?"
Nolan: "Because, because, um because I can see in the dark!"

Another 3 year old quote.  Or quote from a 3 year old rather.
Brayden:  "Ms. Fran is Autumn going to be in charge again?"
Me:  "Yes she is."
Brayden: "Ha ha Alex your mom said Autumn is in charge!"

Back to School

Oh it was a good day.  Let's start with last night.

Autumn and I want to go on a Mission trip to Laos and I had some new info to give her but was trying to tell her something else.
Autumn:  "Wait.... you didn't tell me about Laos."
AJ:  "WHAT?  What about a mouse?"

Today we were talking about anecdotes in writing class.  So I said that it is a very short story added to catch a reader's attention.  They are currently writing on Revolutionary War figures.
Megan:  "Like for Paul Revere, you could write about his ride."
Autumn:  "What did he have a great car or something?"
Girls:  "Autumn they didn't have cars!"
Autumn:  "Fine!  It was a nice horse.  A MUSTANG!"  Ha ha ha ah.

Later we were getting details for our semester service project.
Megan:  "25 and 30 people."
Me:  "So 55 people?"
Gabriella:  "25 TO 30 Ms. Fran."
Me:  "I know.  It's just fun to mess with Megan."
Ms.  Jennifer:  "It's just too easy!  Just like Autumn."
Autumn: OOWWW!!!! (Right on cue she snapped herself in the face with her hair tie.)

They make my sides hurt.

Slow Weekend??

No not really.  I know you're wondering where your quotes are though.  Only have two.

We were eating at Fridays and AJ had to leave for work.
AJ: "Mom can you tell the server to put my dessert in a togo box?"
Me:  "Sure!  Ma'am?  Can you put his dessert in a togo box?"
AJ:  "WOW mom!  I could've done that!  I meant when they brought the desserts out.  Then you could just take it home for me."
Me:  "Oh!"
Still have no idea what I was thinking.  He's 20 for pete's sake and has not been shy about asking his own questions since he was ... well born pretty much!

We have to keep our front door locked by the dead bolt because it has never closed properly.  You can just push it and it opens.  Tonight during our family meeting we were discussing things that need to be fixed.
AJ:  "Yeah the other day I actually had to turn the knob to get in the front door."
So now, when things are working properly, we bring it up for the list of things that need to be fixed?  Is it that much of a shocker that something works right?

Just another day

Today we were parking in the hospital garage and AJ decided to back in.  We had Braydon.
Braydn:  Why are you backing in?
Me:  Cause AJ is cool like that.
Brayden:  My dad's cool like that.

When we were leaving the hospital and deciding on lunch, AJ reminded us he couldn't have fast food.
Autumn:  Is it still fast food if we sit down?
Me:  Yep.
Autumn:  What about if they give it to us really slowly?
Me:  Yes it's still fast food.
AJ:  Autumn I think you try to get quotes sometimes.
Me:  No way.  She comes up with them way to quickly.  She doesn't think about what she's saying.  Which is why she gets so many quotes.

At Perkins, talking to the server at another table.
AJ:  Excuse me, do you have any butter?
Server:  Butter?  Yes we do.  Would you like some?
AJ:  (to the server) yes please.  (To me)  Nope, I'm just taking a survey to see if Perkins has butter.

On the way home.
Brayden:  I'm gonna tell my mommy I want my birthday at that McDonalds (The world's largest on Idrive)
Autumn:  Yeah?  Do you want to do the sling shot too?
Braydon:  No but I want someone to do the sling shot.  I want to tell mommy I want my birthday at McDonald's and daddy can do the sling shot.
I don't think Brayden knows what he committed Daddy to.

This is some funny stuff...

Ok tonight was a great quote night.

1.  Let's begin with the anonymous quote.  This is from someone I was texting today.

Me:  Did you find your iPod?
Anonymous Texter:  Yes, in one of my purses.  It was on the bottom ... blended in.  Couldn't feel it... my last time looking for it and then I was giving up.
Me:  Good ole Murphy.  Have a great trip.
AT:  You're not speaking my language.  Thanks...
Me:  Murphy's Law?
AT:  Yeah I've heard of it.  Never watched it?
Me:  Are you kidding me?  Do you know what Murphy's Law is?
AT:  Nope.
Me:  OK.  I'm sending you an email (with a link to the explanation of Murphy's Law).  And you just made my blog.  Anonymously of course.

Her reply to the email I sent:  "Next time tell me that everyone but me knows.  I just asked the group and got the look of... are you kidding me?"


2.  Next up, of course, is the ride to church.  It wouldn't be a successful car ride if we didn't have a few quotes.

AJ: "Have you ever been so sore that you walk like a penguin?"
Autumn:  "This is awkward............................  yes."

3.  In response to Autumn's shaving quote from earlier.

AJ:  "Did you really stop shaving half way through?"
Autumn:  "Um... kind of?" 

Huh?

4.  Jeff was driving and using a toothpick at the same time.

AJ:  "Dad is multitasking!"
Autumn:  "Actually he is tritasking cause he's doing three things."
AJ:  "Multitasking covers all of it Autumn.  It's doing multiple things.  You don't say Doubletasking"
Autumn:  "That would be bitaxing."  

5.  And then the finale.

AJ:  "This water bottle is warped."
Alex:  "Did it travel through time?"
AJ:  "What?"
Alex:  "You know like Star Trek?"
Me:  "Like, 'Beam me up Scotty?'"
AJ:  "Mom, that's not Star Trek.
Me and Jeff and Alex:  "What?  Yes it is."
AJ:  "'Beam me up Scotty' is NOT Star Trek guys!"
Me:  "Ok then what is it?"
AJ:  "That's Spaceballs."

If you've seen the movie Spaceballs, you'll get that.  If not, well I don't know what to tell ya.  By the way, in Spaceballs it's "Beam me down Snotty."

Quotes from you know who...

Autumn:  "Don't you hate it when you're in the middle of shaving your legs in the shower and you think, 'This is boring.  I don't want to do this anymore.  Let's do something else.'"

FYI - I'm not eating bread right now.
Autumn:  "Ok let's have croissants for lunch."
Me:  "That's bread."
Autumn:  "Ok we can have cereal, corn, or peanut butter and jelly.... fingers."
Me: "Fingers?"
Autumn:  "Well you're not eating bread."